I was asked this question in a presentation I was giving about transitioning from the corporate ladder to the creator wave, and I got a ton of fantastic questions, but this one stuck with me. If I'm being honest, it's a weekly thought of I should just go back and get a traditional role.

Do I miss having a boss? Do I miss the work? No, I miss is the sense of ease. The sense of comfort, the knowing that all I had to do was show up, do good work and go home at the end of the day.  It sounds good on paper, but we know that mentally and emotionally you do become invested in where you are and what you're doing.  That I don't miss.

The thing no one talks about on this solo road is how fucking hard it is.  It's the hardest thing I have ever done and it doesn't get easer.  We, as creators or entrepreneurs or freelancers often don't give ourselves enough credit. We're out re discovering who we are, what our priorities are, how we can meet people and make connections and build relationships.  All while trying to make enough money to sustain this fantastic dream life we're building.  It's fucking hard.

In a traditional role you have a team of people, whether it's 2 or 10,000 it doesn't matter, but when you have at least one other person in the trenches with you it feels easier.  I took all those systems, teams and departments for granted when I was in a traditional role.  As a solocreator trying to make a living, I am acutely aware of how just alone I am.  That is the disconnect for me. Trying to reconcile all of those feelings and figure out how do you do it all when you know that you can't.

What do you do when you're at my stage of not quite monetized enough that you have the resources to outsource and you aren't comfortable doing everything yourself or don't know how to do everything yourself, what do you do? I don't know. I don't have that answer.  Naturally when people ask me if I miss corporate and I think about the heavy burden of doing it all myself, I would be kidding everyone if I didn't say yes.  It feels like every week I'm at the cusp of figuring it out.  At the edge of finally finding sustainable income, finally feeling some sense of ease,  and then one day throws everything off.  On those days, I cry, alot.  I ask my husband what I should do.  I search for hours for a role that I could tolerate.

But let's face it, it's easy to have someone else tell you what to do and where to be and how to show up. It doesn't feel great while you're in it. But it is easier.  I think a lot of people are not honest when asked that question. It's an important discussion to have and by sharing my truth, that yes at least once a week I miss that sense of ease that corporate brought.   We as creators aren't honest about the fact that this is a constant struggle.

I hope by sharing my struggles and pulling back the curtain you see the truth hidden well below the surface of the social media reels.  Remember,  no decision is permanent and never say never. Start having these conversations and open dialogue with yourself with other creators or freelancers to help you along your journey. Does that mean that I'm going back to get a job?  I do apply all the time for jobs that I think will be interesting opportunities to learn and grow. If you deny yourself opportunities that you think you could succeed at and could push you forward on your journey, you're only kidding yourself.

The hard and fast line of saying you're never going to work for somebody again is a slippery slope. We all go through that phase and I'm sure I've said it,  but that's a reality. Discovering yourself and what you like and what you don't like and having these honest discussions is more important than drawing a line in the sand and saying never again.

Do you miss having a traditional job?  Share your thoughts over on Twitter.